Morning peeps....

So what a wonderful way to start the day. Woken up by the little one nice and early after I'd promised her last night that if she went off to sleep nicely I'd take her to Sebastian's Café in Twyford for some breakfast.

It's quite funny when we have breakfast there because it's right on the way to school so we see some of her school buddies passing and they all look amazed and surprised to see that Emily is sat there with a cheese toasty, kiddiechino (frothy milk with marshmellows) and a great big grin.

Curry night was a success again, this time only two portions remained both of which I nabbed and are in the fridge at home. I realised quite soon that I'd made the flavour far too intense for a pub curry so had to send my better half off to get some more coconut milk to temper it down a bit. In the end it turned out pretty spectacular. I wanted to create something a little more complex than just a bog standard curry, that level of cooking was never likely to get many comments from the average bloke in the pub but a couple of people noticed that with each mouthful there was about three or four flavours that hit the palate at different times.

First off you got a nice taste of curried coconut then came a slight sweetness from the tamarind paste I'd used, after that you got a velvety butter flavour and texture followed finally by a hint of heat off the chilli that I'd roasted then ground.

It's amazing how people who confess to not liking spicy food manage to throw down bundles of the stuff once it's cooked well and has other flavours. I put a good few handfuls of dried chilli in there, probably about two peppers per serving but when it's offset with a bit of coconut cream, delicate spicing and a good dollop of natural yoghurt then it all becomes much more than just a hot curry.

Been keeping an eye on channel 4 and the exploits of Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall and his chums on their quest to stop the ridiculous EU fishing law which only allows fishing vessels in the north sea to bring back particular species of fish from their nets meaning that all other species caught, and by now are already dead, have to be thrown back in the sea. This accounts for between 40% & 60% of all catches which is just a tragic waste and does absolutely nothing to aid the sustainability of fish stocks.

You can read much more about it here at the website. Please do sign up and get this terrible piece of EU bureaucratic nonsense changed.

There are also catch up shows available on the channel 4 website (UK Only) which I urge you all to watch. I've watched a couple of the spin off programs (not entirely sure if that is the right way to describe them seeing as it's such a sensitive topic but I can't think of anything else) including the brilliant Fishy Feast with the amazing Heston Blumenthal. I simply cannot get enough of this guy, he's just a genius. I'm not however too enamoured by Gordon Ramsey as a personality but I really want to see the programme he made (well not him alone but you know what I mean) that highlights the horrors behind Sharks Fin soup, I'm told that it's really quite harrowing.

I'm guessing that those outside of the UK can get these programmes via You Tube etc and it's well worth a search to find them.

So with this ridiculous ruling from the numbskulls in Brussels I've found myself looking at other strange laws from around the globe and one that stuck out in particular took me back to a previous blog when I commented on the strange sudden death of blackbirds in the American Mid-west................There's quite a few strange ones from the US, mind you it's a big place with lots of strange people so there's bound to be isn't there?

So anyway......Apparently it's against the law to mispronounce the name of the State of Arkansas in that State!!

A few others from the USA -

Alaskan law says that you can't look at a moose from an aeroplane. (Damn sexy moose)

In Memphis, Tennessee, a woman is not to drive a car unless a man warns approaching motorists or pedestrians by walking in front of the car that is being driven. (Not sure if this is strange or just sensible...sorry ladies, cheap shot I know)

California law prohibits a woman from driving a car while dressed in a housecoat. (presumably this indicates that they have been away from the housework too long)

Some from the UK -

It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament. (However it's a daily occurrence in the House of Lords)

A pregnant woman can legally urinate anywhere she wants, including if she requests, in a policeman's hat. (In Luton I think they can just do it anywhere whatever state they are in)

In Liverpool, it is illegal for saleswomen to be topless, but only in tropical fish stores. (Can't even think of a comment for this one)

In York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within its ancient city walls but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow. (This should be updated to a can of Strongbow)

From around the world -

In Australia, it is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools of a cat burglar. (or a kleptomaniac chimney sweep)

In Toronto in Canada, it is illegal to drive a street car on a Sunday if you have been eating garlic. (Considering French is the 2nd language I'd imagine this is hard to police)

In France it is illegal to name a pig Napoleon. (but calling Nicolas Sarkozy a Gnome is fine)

In Israel, it is illegal to pick your nose on a Sunday. (On this day or any other infact you are quite entitled to pick any other country as your homeland.......JOKE OK!!)

In Iceland, it is illegal to blow on lampposts. (Sticking your tongue on them is much more fun kids)

In Hong Kong, a woman can kill her husband if he has cheated on her. She must use her bare hand though. This isn't a requirement for the man's lover, who can be killed by any means necessary. (beware the one handed Chinese woman)

In Samoa, it is illegal to forget your wife's birthday. (Tough task because you can have several there)

There are hundreds more...all very silly too but alas I must get on and do stuff.

Toodlepip...xxx

New for 2011

Yep the blog is back for 2011. I have a few ideas for it that might make it slightly interesting or maybe just a little more interesting than completely dull.

Firstly I wish everybody a very happy 2011 and that even counts for the idiots that enter my life whenever they are not wanted, I honestly hope that even they find happiness and contentment throughout 2011 mostly so that they can bugger off and enjoy it with other people and leave me alone :-)

To the rest I offer a hearty handshake or a comforting hug (or both) and sincerely hope that all the good you do for others is repaid ten times over.

New years resolutions for me are to completely stop any thoughts or urges to go out drinking on a school night (i.e. during the week when I have work the next day.....you knew that didn't you?) I also want to spend more time on the things in my life that give me genuine pleasure which basically means family, cooking and cricket.

So new for the 2011 blog I was going to comment on some of the lighter news stories that have caught my eye giving them my ever imaginative thoughts and of course there will be plenty about my favourite subject..........Fooooooood.

So lets have a look at some of the news that has welcomed us into 2011......

Citizens of Beebe in Arkansas were puzzled and a bit confused when around 3000 blackbirds suddenly dropped out of the sky above their heads. They seem to have put this phenomena down to fireworks that confused and disorientated the birds which roost in the area!

Perhaps the birds should have made camp more to the north east of the state over a city called Fayetteville where amongst other laws dogs may not bark after 6pm and no person shall sound the horn on a vehicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9pm.

Now what is even more spooky about this story is that approximately 100,000 fish were also found dead in a river 125 miles away from Beebe near the city of Ozark. Initially you'd think this was down to some kind of pollutant but all the dead fish were from just one species, the Drum fish and no other species was affected ?!?!

Crazy stuff you'd think but I'm pretty sure I know what happened here.......Aliens, they caused it....Oh no I've thought of something else equally as feasible, the government are just trying to cover it up. The blackbirds were spies intercepting messages from Al Qaeda who were then passing information to the fish who were actually Muslim extremists plotting an attack on the influential folk of mid west USA. They had to be stopped !!!

Peruvian villagers from Chumbivilcas have a novel way of settling old scores and entering the new year free from rivalries and hostilities towards one another....They have a punch up! Men, women and children take part in the "festival" which apparently helps to strengthen ties amongst the villagers. I wonder if there is a rule that prohibits kicking because being in Peru I'd hope that they'd only be permitted to use their "Andes".............TAXXXXXIIIIIIIIIIII.

Porn for the blind - Toronto artist Lisa J Murphy has been using thermoplastics to make a book of raised 3D images of racy pictures in a kind of Braille porn book. What a fantastic concept. Can't wait for the Readers Wives backdoor special Vol.2 to be released.......

Earthquake reported in North Yorkshire, UK 3.6 on the Richter scale....well blow me down! I had a mate who caused bigger tremours after a night out on the real ales.

I'm loving the quotes though but I thought I might make a few up of my own...

"I was so scared. Our stuffed Whippet almost fell off the mantle piece and into t'coal bucket"....Mavis 76, Bishop Monkton.

"The flying Ducks shook off t'wall and almost hit our Jack square on t'head. With his condition that might have killed t'poor bugger"....Ivy 67, Great Thirkleby.

"Eee by gum, he never? Oohh you don't say? Awful int it?"...Percy, 96 (loves Christmas), Hutton Hang.

Now this last story leads me back to the first one and utterly convinces me that my theory about government intervention is correct, this is not conspiracy theory this is factual theory and it's there for all to see.....

So to the story. Well it turns out that a group of sailors aboard the USS Enterprise (the aircraft carrier and not the spaceship used in those real life documentaries featuring Captain Kirk et al) got busy a few times and had the odd party here and there during which some female sailors where filmed pretending to wash each other in the showers.....SHOCK HORROR...."burn the witches" I hear you cry but wait for it, not only that but male sailors were also filmed dressing in drag, simulating masturbation and using anti-gay slurs.

Surely this is just what people get up to when aboard these floating cities for months on end, personally a load of blokes cooped up at sea with a load of other blokes are going to do things that expressly show the other that they are in no way looking to service each others poop decks (for want of a better phrase). Dressing as women and screaming out "Tug me off you queer" are just normal ways of showing such feelings.

As for women pretending to wash each other in a shower.....come on!!?? That's what all women do when naked and crammed into a small space together....they certainly do in my head anyway.

However..................just take a look at the picture that accompanies this story on the Reuters website...do you see what I see ?!?!

Until next time readers xxx :-) xxx