The article...

For those who have asked and are unable to purchase a copy of the Reading Post here is the article I wrote for them -

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The Perfect Toast
By Ben Zagorski

Toast is home and toast is comfort according to Elizabeth David. In her book English Bread and Yeast Cookery she even tells her readers that when the Duke of Wellington landed at Dover in 1814 after a six year absence from England “the first order he gave at the Ship Inn was for an unlimited supply of buttered toast”.

It’s just one of those things most of us love to eat. We smear it with butter, top it with cheese, daub it with sticky jam, dip it in runny egg yolks even tar it with the “some do some don’t” yeast extract that those deplorable Danes have recently outlawed.

Most often, like many others it seems, I’ll have toast made with sliced white bread and spread with plain butter but in having it this way for me the toast must be cold and the butter must be thick.

Another personal favourite is to have fairly thick cut hot toast with a plentiful plastering of peanut butter and I have no preference on the type of bread used nor to the spread being either crunchy or smooth for it’s the desiccant stickiness I seek.

On occasion I’ll treat myself to a trip down memory lane and have a toasted cheese sandwich.

Nothing fancy just two slices of wholemeal or granary bread toasted and buttered with slices of mature Cheddar sandwiched between or “Cheez wiz tost” as my late Polish grandfather used to call it.

This family favourite was always served up with a mug of piping hot tea. Protocol was to take a bite of the sandwich then quickly take a sip of the tea and have them both in the mouth at the same time. The general consensus within our brood is that this works perfectly and is in no way a tiny bit strange……….

The list for fillings and toppings really could go on forever but aside from that what about the toast itself? Is there a way to ensure you have the perfect slice of crunchy toast?

The answer is “apparently so” because a bunch bread baking boffins down at Vogel’s bakery in the Wiltshire village of Salisbury claim to have uncovered the secret to the ideal slice.

They reveal that after years of testing and quality control the results show that from being just a plain slice of bread, going through the median (Cm) before ultimately becoming charcoal there are inevitably various stages the toast must go through. Taking into account the elasticity (V) of the bread versus toasting time (t) an individual’s preference can be defined and plotted along their “Vogel Curve”.

I quite like the fact that somebody has taken the time to analyse this favoured foodstuff in such precise scientific detail however light-hearted it may be. Toast deserves special consideration.

Could toast even have changed the course of history?

Nigel Slater said “It’s impossible not to love someone who makes you toast”.

Had Kitty Wellesley believed this too then perhaps the Iron Duke might have not gone abroad “to seek the comfort and happiness that he felt was denied him at home”.

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Toodlepip xx