Matchsticks for my eyes please....

So the 5th Ashes test goes into it's final day but I'm not going to bore you with more cricket talk, I know it's a game that most don't really understand so pretty pointless rabbiting on about it.....I just hope it's over quickly so that I can get a good nights sleep.

So the blog today has been inspired by my new favourite TV program. It's actually a kids TV program but I just love spending time watching it with the little one and it's actually very funny too......Horrible Histories (Check it out on the iPlayer if you are a UK resident)

There's a sketch in it where someone dresses at Death himself and he has a kind of chat show called "Stupid Deaths......(Hope next time it's not yoooouuuuuuuu)". It tells stories of how famous people in history died in the most peculiar circumstances, mostly due to their own stupidity which made me think of the Darwin awards.

The Darwin awards for those that don't know are quite obviously named after Charles Darwin and they are given for people who "Do a service to Humanity by removing themselves from the gene pool" (i.e., lose the ability to reproduce either by death or sterilization in an idiotic fashion). It is of course tounge-in-cheek and no actual awards are given out but I thought I might share a few of my personal favourites with you. These ones though don't result in actual death but instead the award winner has had to continue life with the whole world knowing the stupidity that almost cost them dearly or at the very least made them a completely laughing stock.

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(February 2001, Michigan) A 28-year-old demolition worker attempted to commit suicide by washing down nitroglycerine pills with vodka. Normally suicide is not worthy of an At-Risk Survivor, but this man's failure was exceptional. After swallowing the pills, he tried to explode the nitroglycerine by repeatedly ramming himself into a wall.

He was treated for bruises and released from the hospital... with counselling.

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(26 December 2004, Nis, Serbia) Danilo, 36, is the only known Serbian victim of the giant tsunami that devastated countries around the Indian Ocean. And he was at home in Serbia at the time. He blames television for the tragedy.
He was so shocked when he saw the tsunami footage on TV that he jumped out his apartment window. As he fell from the second floor, it occurred to him that the tsunami was not actually a threat to South Serbia, which is separated by an entire continent from the Indian Ocean. But it was too late to avoid impact: he suffered two broken legs and a damaged spine.

Recovering later from his tsunami injuries, he threatened to sue the local television station for announcing that "the tsunami is coming our way," and people should "immediately evacuate." A spokesperson for the television station said Danilo must have misunderstood the reporter's words.

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"(November 2009, Poughkeepsie, New York) Eyewitness Account: "I was driving down the road when the car in front of me suddenly accelerated, then stopped accelerating but continued going straight as the road curved, ultimately crashing into a rail. I pulled over to help, and asked the driver what caused the crash. He told me that the Cha Cha Slide was playing on the radio and he was dancing along. When the lyrics came to "Left foot, Left stomp," he did just that, flooring the accelerator. Then it said "Freeze" and he froze, and then, "Everybody clap your hands," at which point he crashed."

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"(June 1999, California) Last summer down on Lake Isabella, in the high desert east of Bakersfield, a woman was having trouble with her boat.
No matter how she tried, she just couldn't get her new 22-foot Bayliner to perform. It was sluggish in every maneuver, regardless of the power applied. She tried for an hour to make her boat go, but finally gave up and putted over to a nearby Marina for help.

A topside check revealed that everything was in perfect working order. The engine ran fine, the outboard motor pivoted up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch.

One of the Marina guys jumped in the water to check beneath the boat. He came up almost choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer."

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You can find all of the submitted stories here and it's well worth a look if you have some spare time on your hands....